The School of Hard Knocks

 

One can learn quite a  few things  from the School of Hard Knocks, with zero tuition fees other than one’s own sweat and tears. I guess I am still struggling mid-school, with some awesome teachers and a tough curriculum, but hope to graduate Magna Cum Laudae eventually:

1. Pain isn’t bad, it’s actually essential for growth. That old saying about “No pain, no gain” may be clichéd, but still truer than you imagine!! Ever seen a young Mom gaze lovingly at her new born  after the pain of labour?
2. Positive attitude is a wonderful thing, but don’t paint everything rosy. If your house gets burgled three times in a row, it’s not as if you are gaining experience getting burgled; you are actually gaining experience getting buggered and that too with your own complicity. So, learn from your mistakes.
3. Learn to say “NO”. Be undiplomatic when required, and especially so in your personal life. Don’t be sugary sweet, be firm, have a say, and don’t be apologetic about it. Sugar or saccharine are fine with tea and coffee, not always with human relations. Do be reasonable based on the situation.
4. All the same (and paradoxically at times), forgive people when required, be grateful, help others, create things, love, laugh, and hell, enjoy life! You were not born a grumpy old sod - you don’t need to live like one.
5. Act, don’t agonize bloody much. Goddamn it, you failed? We all do, 90% of the time. Get up, brush off the dust from your clothes and a*se, and go for it again. Forget Lincoln and his eighteen failures; do you even know what the failure rate for conception in some societies is like? As they showed in “3 Idiots”, Farhan had to compete with 300 million spermatozoa. Unless you were born with a glistening silver spoon in your mouth, life will be one big haul and you better be prepared to face that.
6. Which doesn’t mean you live like a mule with the grumpy dictum,” Life is a race.” Sure, you have to make a living, pay the bills, support your family and all that, but do take time to smell the flowers (unless you have pollen allergy!). And find the time and energy to pursue new things and new passions.
7. You have suffered? So what’s new? Don’t whine.Everybody has. Didn’t Gautam Buddha talk about suffering being a key theme of life? But be careful not to romanticize your suffering- many alcoholics and drug addicts are born that way (remember Devdaas?)
8. Be kind, be reasonable, be warm. You were born a human being and will definitely die as one, since interspecies conversion is biologically impossible. Things are meant to be used, human beings are meant to be loved. Don’t confuse the two.
9. Believe that GOD has a living plan and a terminal plan for all of us. HE is correct ALL the time. TRUST him. Even if everyone lets you down, HE won’t. The reason is simple- HE brought you here and it’s part of his collateral responsibility. Just keep doing the right things. You may pray or you may not- it depends on your value system- but remember that God’s existence doesn’t depend on your doing either thing. HE is there and HE will be there to stay.
10. Stay connected to the people, activities and events you love and value the most. They will help and nurture you in the end.
11.  Don’t place your value on superficial people, activities, events and things, like a kid who loves his toys. Place importance on the issues that matter.
12. Help others, but don’t pamper them. Take help when you need to, to the extent required. You can’t wipe off others’ shit- they have to do it themselves. And they can’t wipe off yours, either. Keep your tissue paper handy.
13. Have a heart for the ones who are truly dispossessed. You don’t have to sell your house to fund charity, and you will most likely never be Mother Teresa, but it’s always good doing whatever you can. A smile on an orphan kid’s face after you pass him a tenner or even a chocolate can be more illuminating than you realize.
14.  Exercise, do yoga, do pranayama, dance, write, scream, do whatever it takes, but keep moving. Take care of your body, mind and spirit, buddy- it’s your biggest and your best resource. They say in the Shiva Sutras, “Shakti sandhaane sharirotpattihi (a body is brought about by the union of energies). Respect that awesome energy by not abusing it but by nurturing it.
15. Do the impulsive things you want to do. Love streaking on a haystack? Hell, go ahead and do it (cover your a*se though in winter- things can get a bit cold for the bums!). And be careful not to get arrested for it. Have fun, but be safe.
16. You were born naked and will die naked. Why this vain glory about being superficially attractive and unsurpassable? Accept your limitations- you are not King Solomon or Queen Sheeba and neither are you King Kong. Most of us are one of the millions of “mango people” ( aam aadmi) and there is no harm in being that. Leave the posturing to the stars and starlets, do your work and be happy.Keep it simple.
17. It’s not bad to be a bit crazy. I had read in childhood that only the children and the crazy are truly emancipated and happy! Ultimately, we have the glory of following in the footsteps of Lord Shiva, the very first Bipolar personality of this Universe.
18.  Don’t be afraid of committing to the people, events and causes that matter. But choose your battles VERY carefully. Your time and energy are more limited than you understand, especially in this age of Social Media-inspired adrenaline rushes and superficial relationships.
19. Don’t delude yourself that poverty is glorious and money is unimportant- try falling seriously ill to know how important money really is. But don’t be greedy- this world has place for all your needs, and some more, but not for your greed. You can see even Donald Trump being upstaged by litigations and a certain “Stormy” personality- no one escapes.
20. Don’t be a fatalist (believer in fate alone), but understand that Karma (result of action) as in Hindu philosophy is truer than you realize.  Your fate won’t be changed by merely thinking about it or lying on your couch dreaming- it has a firm relationship to your thoughts , behaviours and actions. Do understand one thing firmly- if you finger a person unjustly, no matter whichever God you pray to or whatever palms you grease, the finger will come back to your own rear end some day. Would that be a very happy occurrence? Act accordingly.
21. Regarding ill-health and disease, the scars on your body (or mind) may show for life, and you may look ugly due to them, but there’s no use hiding them or getting ashamed. God didn’t intend to make you Adonis, Sylvester Stallone or Cleopatra- so no use fantasizing about that.
22. And the last, BIG one - Ageing and Death. You will get aged, you may get a disease, and you will definitely die. It’s your privilege as a human being- imagine that if you were a stone, you would live a million years and pass away to dust without anything happening- would that be fun? Don’t be afraid of dying-it will happen someday, to everyone someday. The aim should be to live well while we can, and then pass away blissfully, imagining that you are vacating a place for the next chap in line who’s blissfully kicking in Mom’s womb. Live life fully while you can, one day at a time. One who lives well can also die well.They said in Muqaddar ka Siqandar, a famous Hindi movie, that “We all come crying to this world, But if we go back laughing, Then we are truly THE KING OF THE WORLD!”Wouldn’t you love to be KING? For sure, I would!!

From the School of Hard Knocks@ Abhibishnu 2018