Mental health special bulletin



A bit late for "World Mental Health Day (Oct 10th) " I know (I was out at that time), but here's a tongue in cheek look at the culture of psychiatric diagnosis and treatment. Just as a joke, no offence intended, certainly not meant to demean anyone !!



DIAGNOSIS, PROGNOSIS AND TREATMENT CHART (BY EMINENT PSYCHIATRIST)

Date: 17/10/2017
Patient- Mr. XYZ
Age- 35 yrs
Sex-  As of yet undetermined ( probably male)

Diagnosis and Treatment chart daywise

Day of week
Diagnosis for the day
Treatment for the day
Sunday
Psychosis
( DSM IV 293.81)
Tab. Lesuride (Levosulpiride) 100mg once daily
Monday
Delusional Disorder
 (DSM IV 297.1)
Tab .Oleanz ( Olanzapine) 10 mg once daily
Tuesday
Major Depressive Disorder
(DSM IV 296.30)
Tab. Bupron XL ( Bupropion) 300 mg once daily
Wednesday
Bipolar Affective Disorder
(DSM  IV 297.1)
Tab. Lamitor ( Lamotrigine)  200 mg once daily
Thursday
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD)
 ( DSM IV 300.3)
Cap. Fludac ( Fluoxetine) 10 mg once daily
Friday
Schizophrenia 
( DSM IV 295.10)
Tab. Lithosun ( Lithium ) 300 mg OD
Saturday
Sorry, ran out of diagnoses :) , therefore take rest and recover from the medicines

Repeat the same ,in inverse order on alternate weeks to avoid monotony

Prognosis- 50/50 if the medicines are taken religiously

For additional problems
For Insomnia- Tab. Ativan (Lorazepam) 2 mg SOS
For Anxiety- Tab. Calmpose (Diazepam) 10 mg SOS

Follow –up after 1 month

Please buy medicines from psychiatrist’s chamber only ( as these are genuine medicines directly supplied by company)
                                                ________

Dr. Craze-all know-it-all
DPM (DU ), MD ( NIMHANS), DNB,  MRCPsych ( UK)
Dr. Craze-all  Mental Clinic,
Jhumritalaiya,  India


Comments

  1. AnonymousNovember 2, 2017 at 3:40 AM

    funny and spot on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AbhiNovember 2, 2017 at 9:12 AM

      I know I might get fried for this, but I couldn't resist it :)

      Delete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 2, 2022 at 11:52 PM

    VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS
    I have made multiple DVDs youtube mp3 of VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lord Shiva- the first bipolar

Image
  Bipolar. A person who is maniac and depressive alternately. Happy at one time, sad at another. The APA ( American Psychiatric Association) of USA, the imposing grand daddy of the global " mental healthcare system “ ,who decide arbitrarily via their network of psychiatrists worldwide as to what constitutes a mental disorder and what does not ( with gentle and not so gentle prodding from Pharma companies) ,says that people with bipolar disorder , " have extreme and emotional mental states that occur at distinct times, called mood episodes." And going by standard psychiatric literature, the occurrence of bipolar disorder is around 3% in the community (again, based on arbitrary and questionable criteria decided by psychiatrists ). Is that the case, really ? To critically examine this issue, let's look at the "case" of Lord Shiva, whom many of us worship daily, in all his glory.Lord Shiva is silent,medit...
Read more

The Spirit-what is it actually

Image
x The spirit does not die. Simple statement of Hindu philosophy, the core of the Advaita tradition. As   said in the Bhagavad Gita, Samkhya Yoga “ Na hanyam, na hanyate ( the spirit does not kill or let kill).”Even while you kill your enemies, your kill their body (and their mind), but never the spirit or soul ( Atman). Bhagwan Maharishi Ramana defines this spirit   as the “ I”,   that which is unique to us all, thus has to be perceived by us uniquely. He defines “ I” as the sole phenomenon that drives the world, the Shiva tattva that is present inside us all , and I wholeheartedly agree with him. The Bhagwan would know- it was this “I “phenomenon which helped him to battle cancer undaunted till his death in 1950 . It was the same spirit which allowed my late father to battle lung cancer undaunted till his end . It is the same spirit that allows all of us to face life’s multiple problems everyday. Without “I”, there ...
Read more

Auld lang syne

Image
Another year is about to start. For some, probably a fresh new beginning; for some, the continuation of an old story; for others, a perfectly legitimate excuse to let their hairs down! Whatever the story , the music is going to come blaring on, the DJs are going to line up their numbers, the parties are going to begin, the wine is going to flow, and all are going to enjoy- the pediatric ( child),geriatric (old),) and psychiatric ( wacko) populace included. I remember the year we had spent New Year’s Eve dancing around the bonfire, non-alcohol induced, with family friends, at a forest in Jhargram, West Bengal, where probably the only lights today during New Year’s Eve would be that from the Maoist lanterns. It was perfectly safe and normal to spend holidays there in those parts during those days, just as it is unsafe today. I had told my wife (then-fiancée) that I would have rather spent the night in the company of “ spirits”, and had got an earful on the virtues of not drinking. Today,...
Read more