Mental health special bulletin



A bit late for "World Mental Health Day (Oct 10th) " I know (I was out at that time), but here's a tongue in cheek look at the culture of psychiatric diagnosis and treatment. Just as a joke, no offence intended, certainly not meant to demean anyone !!



DIAGNOSIS, PROGNOSIS AND TREATMENT CHART (BY EMINENT PSYCHIATRIST)

Date: 17/10/2017
Patient- Mr. XYZ
Age- 35 yrs
Sex-  As of yet undetermined ( probably male)

Diagnosis and Treatment chart daywise

Day of week
Diagnosis for the day
Treatment for the day
Sunday
Psychosis
( DSM IV 293.81)
Tab. Lesuride (Levosulpiride) 100mg once daily

Monday
 (DSM IV 297.1)
Tab .Oleanz ( Olanzapine) 10 mg once daily

Tuesday
Major Depressive Disorder
(DSM IV 296.30)
Tab. Bupron XL ( Bupropion) 300 mg once daily

Wednesday
Bipolar Affective Disorder
(DSM  IV 297.1)
Tab. Lamitor ( Lamotrigine)  200 mg once daily

Thursday
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD)
 ( DSM IV 300.3)
Cap. Fludac ( Fluoxetine) 10 mg once daily
Friday
Schizophrenia 
( DSM IV 295.10)
Tab. Lithosun ( Lithium ) 300 mg OD

Saturday
Sorry, ran out of diagnoses :) , therefore take rest and recover from the medicines


Repeat the same ,in inverse order on alternate weeks to avoid monotony

Prognosis- 50/50 if the medicines are taken religiously

For additional problems
For Insomnia- Tab. Ativan (Lorazepam) 2 mg SOS
For Anxiety- Tab. Calmpose (Diazepam) 10 mg SOS

Follow –up after 1 month

Please buy medicines from psychiatrist’s chamber only ( as these are genuine medicines directly supplied by company)
                                                ________

Dr. Craze-all know-it-all
DPM (DU ), MD ( NIMHANS), DNB,  MRCPsych ( UK)
Dr. Craze-all  Mental Clinic,
Jhumritalaiya,  India


Comments

  1. funny and spot on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know I might get fried for this, but I couldn't resist it :)

      Delete
  2. VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS
    I have made multiple DVDs youtube mp3 of VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS/VHS

    ReplyDelete

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